Wow. I haven't been on here in a YEAR! That's crazy to me.

I am now settled in WI with my family. Still not in school, but I'm starting in the fall at Blackhawk Technical College in Janesville.

My mission trip last year was amazing and I ended up going back to Tanzania this year! It's so great to have something to show for all my years of fighting cancer. When I was in Tanzania last year, I was able to share my story with a group of 165 young women. They didn't have cancer, but they had other diseases and struggles. And if I could give them even a little hope, I wanted to. This year when I went back, they remembered my name. They smiled and hugged me and wanted me to stay. That meant so much to me.

I've been off treatment for almost 2 years. I have had no health problems whatsoever since then. I have been to my family doctor once since I moved here. Those are things that other people take for granted. I have a check up in Madison with my oncologist once every two months and so far everything has been fine. Last time I went my platelet count was low, but it went back up quickly.

When I was diagnosed, my parents didn't have health insurance, so I ended up with Medicaid. Along with that we started recieving SSI payments. They recently got around to doing a medical review on me and determined me "no longer disabled" which is true..and fine with me. The problem with that is that I am now facing losing my Medicaid insurance...and have no way of paying for my own health insurance. I don't have a job right now and even if I did, I would literally be working to pay for my insurance and have nothing left. Having leukemia on your records automatically makes the price skyrocket. I'm trying not to stress out. Things will work out...somehow.          

I spent all afternoon and most of the evening packing away my life in boxes. I'm leaving on a mission trip to Africa the first week in June, then moving to Wisconsin the week after I get back so I figured I better get a head start on packing. I have a month until I leave to go to the other side of the world. It's a weird thing to think about. But what's even weirder is that in two months, I'll be living hundreds of miles away from here in another state. Moving isn't something new to me. My Dad was in the Army for nine years and we moved A LOT. But I've been here in Alabama for nine years now. NINE! That's longer than I've ever stayed in one place. So I consider this home. Sweet Home Alabama. Moving didn't seem real until today. We have been talking about it for months, putting the house up for sale, house hunting in WI, hyping ourselves up. But today, as I started packing away the memories of my life here, it really hit me. I'm leaving. Life is never going to be the same.

In some ways I'm glad to be leaving this behind. It will be nice to start over. But this is the house full of my memories of tears, vomit, and many a sleepless night. The neighborhood where I fell down a hill on my bike when I was 11, where I layed out in the driveway on my lawn chair to get a tan when I was 13, where I sat on the porch and played guitar when Alabama was experiencing a rare mild summer day. And my friends, the ones who encouraged me through it all...I can't take them with me. I know I won't lose contact with my best friends, but what about everyone else. The neighbors, the church members, the teachers at my old high school, the nurses and doctors at the hospital where I was treated. I can't possible keep in touch with everyone. And that's heartbreaking for me.

I have TONS of pictures. I never realized how many until I started packing away all the scrapbooks and photo albums. I'm so glad I have them to help me remember. The sad thing is, we aren't even going to have a house right away when we move. We'll be living with my grandpa, so I don't know when I'll be able to unpack these boxes I packed today. It could be 6 months before I can look at a photo of me and my choir friends from junior year. I sure hope not.

Today I literally sifted through everything that I own. It's crazy to see everything you've aquired in your life being wrapped in newspaper or covered with packing peanuts. I don't know how I feel about it.